Look Around, Look Around

Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

It's hard to see the beauty, in the day to day grind
It's hard to see the love around, in the relationships that are falling apart
It's hard to feel awake, when life is becoming so tiring

This is the push
The light is not yet at the end of the tunnel
This is the cold before the storm
Winter is still trying to rear it's cold ugly head
Before the warmth of the springtime and the taste of the summer greets us

It's easy to get stuck
It's easy to feel low
It's easy to feel like things are spiraling

Pause
Listen
Hear the joy in those around you
Hear the support of your chosen family
See the students as people, not just bodies in a classroom
Be the person that greets them and says goodbye as they leave

It isn't easy to see the good
But if we look around, we will find that in fact, we are lucky to be where we are

Welcome Here

Welcome here
You've made it

You were hurt for a long time
But happy for longer than you know

You fought everyday
Even when it didn't feel like a fight
You still think back
You still remember the moments:
The car, the coffee place, the long drives

You still love a small part
But ache for the you that was hurt
She is still there, crying and afraid
She doesn't know she will become you

You are amazing
You have achieved everything you've set out to accomplish so far
You have degrees plural, live in New York City, have someone who loves you and wants to have forever with you

You have students that love you
Even when you mess up, they see that you care
They know they matter to you

You have friends from long ago and far away and nearby
You have family that loves you and new family that loves you too

You are so close to loving the you you are and caring for the you you've been
You are where you're supposed to be

Namaste

Self-care
Yoga pose
Green smoothie
Face bare

Clean food
Toned arms
Positive attitude
Skin smooth

#Nomakeup
#Nofilter
#Namaste
#Bewildered

Is this pose right?
Are these leggings tight?
Will this post get enough likes?
Is this self-care or a vice?

Am I selling body positivity?
Or money brands will give me?

Namaste to all
Who will catch me when I fall?

A Year Ago, A Year From Now

Looking back is often hard
Where was I a year ago?
Am I better off now than I was a year ago?
I'm still just as tired
I'm still afraid
I'm still making mistakes

I was younger
I was more hopeful
I was more self-conscious
I was pushing things back

I think back now
To the way back times, before when things were bad
Things never felt bad then
But looking back, I wish I had known

I've come so far from then
I've fought so hard for now
But to me that isn't enough
I should be happier, lighter, freer, wiser
I should be energized and have it all figured out

I should not be having bad days
I should definitely not be having mediocre days
I should be more grateful
I should be eating healthier
I should be exercising

I should stop listening to my mind so much
Pause on thoughts
Play
Begin looking at now
Begin looking ahead

What will I have accomplished a year from now?

November 9th, 2016

Today is overcast
Today is grim
Today is sorrow
Today is disappointment
Today is hurt
Today is anger
Today is rage
Today is unacceptable
Today is shame
Today is fear
Today is when things didn't change
Today is when patriarchy and white power win
AGAIN

Today is not for us
Today we get to grieve
Today we get to feel
Today we get to hurt

We have lost
We have lost hope
We have lost power
We have lost friends
We have lost family

The fight has to continue and yes the sun rises
Life goes on
But we have today
We own today

We can grieve
Don't take this day away from us
You've taken everything else

Greater Things

The world is filled with pain
The world is filled with hate
The world is filled with danger

Yet, we sit
We worry
We plan
We think
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it"

We may never see that bridge
We may never have the new day
We may not get another tomorrow

Youth is wasted on the young
Life is wasted on the living

We are consumed with self and now
Money
Power
Legacy
What will make us remembered?

We care about material things
What can I buy next?
What will I watch next?
We have too many choices

We have too little time
To care so much for only ourselves

Others matter
There are greater things

Indie Movie

I wish life were like an indie movie. Weird and emotional with jokes that were only funny to you. Life is mostly messy and confusing and frustrating, filled with worries about things that aren’t gonna matter in a month. We fight and we work too hard and we care too much what people think of us.

The secret is: people don’t think of us. People think mostly of themselves. We are so worried about our own minute lives that we rarely think outside of ourselves. But if life were like an indie movie, we’d care about other people. We’d have someone who loves us and plays acoustic covers of old songs by unheard of artists’.

If life were like an indie movie, we’d have an emotional and uplifting pep talk from an adult we respected. Or, we’d have a moving adventure in bright colors, like a Wes Andersen movie. If life were like an indie movie, things would turn out ok.