Seven

To Elizabeth who taught me courage
To Sylvia whose beautiful words can haunt
To Hattie who taught me heartache and loss
To Meg who taught me love and curiosity
To the poetry of Mary and Elizabeth and Anne
that taught me beautiful words don’t have to come from Shakespeare alone
To Amy and her cool-girl rebellion
To Hermione and her pride in her intellect
To Rachel for discovering the truth and confronting him
To Liane for the twisted and shocking and yet loving stories
To the women who have changed me
Thank you

This I Know To Be True

Friends
The first person you meet in any situation is unlikely to last
The "freshman friend" you may see on Instagram years later
You may think back to meeting and thinking "this is my friend"
Then you think back and realize you don't remember when you stopped talking to each other

Heartbreak
You get out on the other side and you are better for it
You ache and grieve and shut out your roommates and your friends
You lie to them for a week, maybe two, not revealing what happened
Until one night you finally break down
You have a lot of ups and downs
You think you are done
But then you meet the person and you realize
You made it out, stronger, better

Adults
Adults don't have it all figured out
People get into their careers sometimes by choice, often by chance
People haven't grown up
They play politics and high school cliques
They lie and they deceive and they cheat
They laugh at your passion and diminish your efforts
Don't let them bring you down

Welcome Here

Welcome here
You've made it

You were hurt for a long time
But happy for longer than you know

You fought everyday
Even when it didn't feel like a fight
You still think back
You still remember the moments:
The car, the coffee place, the long drives

You still love a small part
But ache for the you that was hurt
She is still there, crying and afraid
She doesn't know she will become you

You are amazing
You have achieved everything you've set out to accomplish so far
You have degrees plural, live in New York City, have someone who loves you and wants to have forever with you

You have students that love you
Even when you mess up, they see that you care
They know they matter to you

You have friends from long ago and far away and nearby
You have family that loves you and new family that loves you too

You are so close to loving the you you are and caring for the you you've been
You are where you're supposed to be

Namaste

Self-care
Yoga pose
Green smoothie
Face bare

Clean food
Toned arms
Positive attitude
Skin smooth

#Nomakeup
#Nofilter
#Namaste
#Bewildered

Is this pose right?
Are these leggings tight?
Will this post get enough likes?
Is this self-care or a vice?

Am I selling body positivity?
Or money brands will give me?

Namaste to all
Who will catch me when I fall?

A Year Ago, A Year From Now

Looking back is often hard
Where was I a year ago?
Am I better off now than I was a year ago?
I'm still just as tired
I'm still afraid
I'm still making mistakes

I was younger
I was more hopeful
I was more self-conscious
I was pushing things back

I think back now
To the way back times, before when things were bad
Things never felt bad then
But looking back, I wish I had known

I've come so far from then
I've fought so hard for now
But to me that isn't enough
I should be happier, lighter, freer, wiser
I should be energized and have it all figured out

I should not be having bad days
I should definitely not be having mediocre days
I should be more grateful
I should be eating healthier
I should be exercising

I should stop listening to my mind so much
Pause on thoughts
Play
Begin looking at now
Begin looking ahead

What will I have accomplished a year from now?