Titanic

The happiness was gone
The pain set in
Not her own, but that of everyone around her

She was drowning in a sea of others' sorrow
She tread and tread as tears streamed down her face
She swam to each rock
Giving away every anchor, life vest, or life raft she had
She felt she had to save everyone

This was her calling of course
To save others
To stay afloat enough to help everyone else
While she herself could barely make it to shore

She tried to only save herself, once
She made it to solid ground
She found herself alone, still unhappy

She met someone who made her rethink it all
She felt happy, supported, and cared for
But suddenly, everyone swam to her island
Screaming her name, calling for help

She could not stay on this tranquil island of personal paradise
She jumped back in the water, swimming as fast as she could
Away form the safety she had just begun to know

"You can't save them all. Who will take care of you?" he shouted

Who will take care of them? she thought and she swam away into the cold vast distance
Trying to forget, what she thought she'd never find

Night

She lies in bed
A hot summer night
Her skin sticks to the sheets
But she refuses to open a window

She wraps herself in the comfort, yet additional warmth of the quilt
She feels no one beside her
She traces his shape with her fingers
She touches where his head would rest on the pillow

She feels and remembers
She scans her brain, trying to recall everything
His smell
His skin
His breath
His eyes
His touch
His smile
His laugh

She tries to remember and cries
She cries for fear of what she has already lost

It has been a long time since she shared her bed
Even longer since she shared her heart

As the heat grows to be unbearable
And she dries her tears
Her heart feels light
Her mind is at peace

She knows he has to go
She knows she'll always love him
But she's ready to give her heart to someone new

She's ready
She falls fast asleep
Under the glow of the moon
And the now open window

Nostalgia

New friends at an old place
The comfort is there
But only for you

They can't understand the significance
They can't see the fun times, boring times, old times

"Just like old times"
Is this really true, even when things and people change?

Is it that you are with new people?
Or is it you?
Are you that far from who you were?

You ache for what used to be
You long for what has been
You wonder who you've become

To Whom It May Concern

I wear shirts with French words on them
I drink shitty beer and love it
I drink expensive wine
I like scotch

My favorite movies are indie films with a message about family and love
Usually with a male, middle class and white protagonist which bothers the progressivist in me
I love old movies
I love sad movies

I love music
I love music that says something about pain and heartache and falling out of love

I love books
I love books about quirky, depressed teenagers who fall in love
I love to read and would rather read a book than go out to a bar

I don't have a way with words
But I write anyway

I never thought I was brave
Until today
Until I realized that being honest and open about my feelings is one of the bravest things there is

I say I don't believe in love
But not so deep down, I am a hopeless romantic
And maybe I'm naive for thinking that somewhere is someone waiting for me
But I will continue to believe this until I find them

I care about art
I am obsessed with theatre
I love children, even when they are the worst

I hate sports
I hate texting
I hate Halloween

But wherever you are
I want you to know
This is who I am

I love all of it
And I know you will too

Don't Tell Me

Hurt me again
It won't be worse

Lie and say you love me
Lie and say you need me

Let me feel love for you again
Let me think that I want it all back

Let me forget about the pain and the past
Let me feel like I need you

Let me realize I need to be without you
Even though I still love you

Let me miss you
Let me let you go

But don't tell me about someone else

Don't tell me you've met someone
Don't tell me you are happy
Don't tell me you are happy without me

Don't tell me
Because that hurts the most

Just let me go

Home

They say home is where the heart is
If your heart is with someone
How long are they your home?
If a piece of your heart is with someone else
Are you missing a piece of home?

Is home a place?
The space where you reside
The four walls
The bed
The books, posters, letters, memories

Can home be a place you've never been but always longed for?

Is home somewhere that's lost?
Somewhere that exists in this time and space
But changes as you do

Is home in your heart even when you are lost?
Is home people you no longer speak to but still care for?

Is home somewhere I've been
or
Is it somewhere I'm going?

Modern Romance

Like
Favorite
Share
Swipe
Fast love
Cheap love
Make out
Hook up
Drink
Drunk love
Tough love
Lustful love
One night stand
Text me back
Let's hang out
2 am
Let's hook up
Unofficial
Talking
Dating
Texting
We don't like to label it
Boyfriend
Girlfriend
Fuck buddy
Passion aplenty
Romance gone
Where is the love?
On a small portable screen
Swipe right

Why Try

Why try

If it always ends

Why try

If it isn't easy

Why try

It it always hurts

Why try

Because it never works

Drowning

If someone is drowning , throw them something to grab on to.
Don't jump in with them or they will likely drown.

One Year

365 plus days later
She sat alone
And wept
The pain felt as strong as ever
She couldn't believe that she still hurt
Nothing was wrong
But all at once
Everything was
None of them stayed
She spent another countless and endless night alone

She didn't mind being alone
Until she felt it
It hurt so much
She ached everywhere

It was gone
And perhaps this was the first moment in an entire year
Of trial and error
Of more heartbreak
To realize it was over

Her first real love was gone
He was leaving
She was lost
She didn't long for him, but rather what they were

She longed for something that lasts
But in this one year
She learned it wasn't love