Missing

Missing is a different kind of hurt

It is an ache
A pain
A physical sensation you don't enjoy

Missing is hard

It is tears
Replaying memories over and over and over

Missing is a place

It is a drive to the airport
It is silent
It is not letting go of a hug

Missing is an action

It is walking away
Not looking back
It is running back for one last kiss

Missing is distance

Apart not together

Yet missing is not losing
Missing is
Wanting
Waiting
Returning

There is an endgame

Missing is not gone

FaceTime Love

To hear your voice is not enough
To see your face
To see your eyes
To see your feelings
To see you

To want you here hurts too much
To see your name
To see your words
To see your heart
To see you

To feel you with me when we are apart
To see what's gone
To see what's alone
To see what's lost

To leave the conversation but not say goodbye
To hold back tears
To feel the ache
To miss you

To hear your voice is not enough
To see your face
To see your eyes
To see the happy in my heart

To love you from afar

Waiting

The days fly by
But I wait
The clock keeps ticking
But I wait
Anticipation and Excitement

I wait to move forward
I wait to go back
I wait to return home

I look forward
And hope not to get stuck looking back

It is not now
So I wait

Plastic Palm Trees

It had been years
The sun still shined everyday
But the traffic and smog choked out the life

The possibilities, the memories, the forever friends
All had gone with the rain to another place
The state was dry, the hope of the future here dry too

In the end, all that mattered was money
Networking, CEOs, CFOs, IPOs
Where'd you go to school?

The depth was not there
The concern for people was not there
Status, who you knew, who you instagramed

This world was a virtual reality
The people just characters passing through
Nothing to endure

On to the next big thing...leaving

By the sea

The warm grains of sand
The sun on her face
The ocean breeze causing goosebumps on her pale skin

She inhales
And exhales
Deeply

She felt calm for once
She felt free
She felt alive

A place she knows
She knows not well
And yet she stays

She felt safe for once
She felt strong
She felt home

She inhales
And exhales
Inhales
And exhales
Inhales
And exhales
Deeply

Unrequited Self Love

I hurt for no reason

I’m sad with no cause

I’m alone in a crowded room

I cry everyday

For what

I don’t know

I wish my pain away

But wishing only makes it grow 

I ache for a time

I swore I wouldn’t miss

I yearn for a life

I swore I’d forget

For now

I have nothing

But the thoughts racing through my head

I’m terrified to tell you 

So I lie awake in bed

I pray for sleep, for comfort, for rain

I pray for anything to stop the pain 

I hurt for no reason

I cry for no cause

Just getting up today

Was enough as it was 

Storms

When it rains it pours

But I feel like I’m drenched to the bone

The rain hasn’t really stopped

The rainbows I thought I saw were not real

The rain keeps coming down

No end in sight

I am cold and alone

Stuck in the storm

No roof over my head

I’ve tried to hide

I’ve tried to find myself shelter

But

the 

rain 

won’t stop